How to Stay Peaceful When the World Around You Feels Out of Control

Imagine you have somewhere to be. You and your wheelchair-bound husband make your way to your accessible parking spot in front of the building.

There’s a problem, though.

Someone has parked in the striped lines that reserve the space needed to get him and his chair into the car. He can’t get off the sidewalk because he has no room with the illegally parked vehicle in the way. Your only choice is to wait for the driver to come back and move it.

A young woman approaches. When you realize she’s the owner of the car, you take the opportunity to advocate for your husband—informing her that it’s illegal to park in the striped lines.

Instead of apologizing, she becomes combative—unmoved by the fact that your husband remains trapped on the sidewalk.

In fact, she escalates—hurling nasty insults at you and calling your disabled husband “a waste of space.”

She asserts her right to park there because she pays so much money to live there. Instead of driving away, she pulls out her phone and threatens to post a video of your encounter online for all her followers to see.

You calmly tell her that’s fine. You just want to get your husband in the car and be on your way. She ends the conversation by telling your husband to get his dog on a leash.

I wish I could say this was a product of my imagination, but sadly this is an incident that was recently filmed and posted online for the world to see.

The internet has come up with a term for this kind of behavior—main character syndrome.

Sadly, many people suffer from this affliction, and it could be the product of anxiety, depression, or a trauma-response—or it could just be a sense of entitlement.

It’s important to note that these factors might explain the behavior, but they don’t excuse them.

Whatever the cause, people who behave like this can put our nervous system on high-alert by dragging us into their plotline against our will.

If it’s not confrontational people disrupting the peace of our inner world, it’s our constant exposure to stories of senseless violence, greed, and geopolitical uncertainty.

A leisurely scroll on social media can quickly turn into a doomscroll with people posting their opinions about politics and controversial news stories and arguing in the comments.

Unfortunately, we aren’t likely to escape the chaos of the outside world any time soon.

Still, we can maintain a state of inner peace by tending to our nervous system as it navigates these unprecedented times.

We can’t fix other people, but we can protect our capacity to remain peaceful when interacting with them.

If the introduction activated your nervous system, feel free pause and soothe yourself with this peaceful melody.

Movement as Nervous System Support

Earlier in this series, I discussed why inner peace begins with our nervous system. Its job is to protect us from threats and ensure our brain uses energy efficiently when under stress.

When we become anxious, fearful, or depressed, the thinking part of our brain—prefrontal cortex—steps aside and lets the more automatic, survival-oriented parts take the wheel.

This is when we become impulsive and get drawn into negativity—often unaware it’s happening until we’ve said or done something we regret.

This is why it’s so important to help our nervous system find a healthy baseline. We’re less likely to take a peaceful course of action when our brain stays in a heightened state all the time.

One way to help our nervous system find balance is to incorporate movement into our daily routine.

Exercise strengthens our capacity to maintain inner peace by:

Helping the nervous system return to a calm baseline more efficiently. Research supports the idea that exercise improves resilience by lowering resting heart rate and speeding up recovery after stress.
Increasing blood flow throughout the body. This supports energy production, making it easier to keep our prefrontal cortex engaged under stress. We’re more likely to avoid impulsive behaviors and make better decisions with less fatigue.
Regulating appetite. Studies suggest that people who exercise regularly are better able to adjust their food intake to their energy needs. Being more in tune with our caloric needs means we’re more likely to take care of ourselves before we become hangry, or emotionally reactive due to hunger.
Improving mental clarity, planning, and decision-making. Researchers have found a correlation between exercise and changes in serotonin and dopamine activity in the brain. Healthy serotonin levels can help us focus better, while dopamine can give us the motivation needed to get things done.

In summary, movement can help fortify our nervous system by improving its ability to regulate, respond to stress, and return to a calmer state.

Sleep as Nervous System Support

Another way to support our nervous system is through healthy sleep practices.

Studies suggest that sleep plays an important role in maintaining a strong connection between our prefrontal cortex and amygdala—a key hub for emotions like fear, worry, and anxiety.

This neural link allows the thinking part of our brain to make sure our emotional responses are proportionate to our circumstances. Sleep deprivation, however, weakens this connection.

Left unchecked, our nervous system goes on high-alert, and the intensity of the amygdala’s reaction to negative experiences can increase by sixty percent. Suddenly minor annoyances become outright threats, and we’re liable to either become confrontational or withdrawn.

For example, it’s possible that the young woman described in the introduction got very little sleep the night before. Her nervous system isn’t going to translate a stranger pointing out her parking violation as a learning opportunity.

It’s going to say something like, “There’s a crazy woman attacking you in the parking lot! Fight for your life!”

Of course, this explanation is merely speculation on my part.

Still, it isn’t out of the realm of possibility when we consider the data. Nearly thirty-seven percent of adults reported getting an insufficient amount of sleep each night in a 2022 CDC survey. This finding was consistent with results over a nine-year period.

Are you part of this statistic?

I am, and there are moments when it takes everything I have not to snap at everyone around me.

Let’s make a commitment to ourselves to practice better sleep hygiene with one or more of the following recommendations:

Aim for eight hours of continuous sleep. A few hours plus a nap here and there isn’t nearly as restorative as a full night’s rest.
Spend a few minutes out in the sun. Sunlight exposure improves sleep quality by suppressing melatonin production during the day, which helps to regulate the circadian rhythm.
Limit your bedroom activities to sleeping. You want your brain to associate your bed with sleep—not work, scrolling through your phone, or watching television. (Hoping my husband reads this one.)
Create a bedtime routine that helps your brain wind down. You can try making yourself a warm drink, stretching, a breathing exercise, or reading a book. Be sure to use a night mode setting if reading on your phone or tablet.

You don’t have to follow this advice perfectly. Some nights might be easier than others. What matters is that you start taking steps toward better sleep quality.

Good sleep hygiene stabilizes our nervous system, giving us the capacity to remain peaceful in difficult situations.

Biofeedback as an Immediate Support

Though exercise and sleep play important roles in maintaining a calm baseline, it takes time to build healthy habits in these areas.

Fortunately, you can use biofeedback as a more immediate approach to de-escalating your nervous system in times of high stress.

Our brain constantly monitors what our body is doing—heart rate, breathing pattern, and muscle tension, for example. These signals often influence our feelings and behaviors without us even being aware of them.

Biofeedback can familiarize us with our body’s cues to help us regain control when it goes into fight-or-flight mode. It’s a skill that could come in handy if you find yourself in a parking lot confrontation or on the receiving end of bad news.

How does your body respond to stressful situations?

My jaw clenches, eyebrows furrow, and my lips start to tingle.

I learned this from an exercise in the Self-Directed Skills DBT Workbook by KiKi Fehling, PhD, and Elliot Weiner, PhD.

It instructed me to take three deep breaths, close my eyes, and note my body’s sensations. The goal wasn’t to change anything. It was just to observe, so I could learn to connect my physical responses with my emotional state.

Over the course of a week, I would stop and observe whenever I experienced a noticeable emotion—positive or negative. I would jot down the specific emotion and how my body felt in the moment. This was really effective in re-establishing my mind-body connection.

I’m now more aware of the tension in my face and have an easier time naming my emotional state before it becomes a crisis.

The best part—it doesn’t take much to nudge my nervous system in the right direction.

This might sound silly, but I tell myself, “Relax your face, Girlie Pop.”

Then, I intentionally relax my jaw, unfurrow my brows, and turn my lips upward slightly. It doesn’t make the negative emotion vanish into thin air, but it does take the edge off so I can think more clearly.

I’ll admit. If someone had told me this prior to my healing journey, I would have just rolled my eyes.

In fact, it’s possible someone did give me this advice, and I just sent it straight to my brain’s spam folder.

Surprisingly, this advice is actually rooted in neuroscience.

Our brain takes cues from our corrugator supercilii—the muscle in our forehead that causes it to wrinkle when we have a negative emotion. Tension in this muscle signals to the brain that something is wrong, keeping our nervous system in a state of alarm.

Relaxing our corrugator supercilii and jaw muscles can help reduce the distress signals caused by facial tension.

We can replace them with positive signals by flexing the zygomatic major muscle at the corners of our mouth—say cheese!

Smiling, even slightly, communicates to our brain that we feel positive. We may not actually feel that way yet, but it might be enough to put our nervous system at ease.

Next Steps for Your Self-Discovery Journey

If you’d like to explore these ideas more personally, these resources may help.

If you’re ready to explore what peace looks like in your life right now, start with this Peace Readiness Toolkit. I designed it to help you understand how you experience peace, regulate your emotions, and stay aligned with your values in daily life.

Gentle Ways to Apply This:

Notice how movement affects your body and emotional state. This can help you make choices that support your nervous system. This free printable, Movement as Nervous System Support, prompts you to explore movement as a way to help the nervous system recover from stress and return to a calmer baseline—without pressure or performance.
Notice how sleep quality affects your emotional responses. Use this free gentle reflection, Sleep as Nervous System Support, to help you choose small, supportive shifts that feel realistic.
Notice how your body signals stress. This free worksheet Biofeedback as an Immediate Support can help you explore simple cues—like facial tension, breath, and posture—that can help nudge your nervous system toward steadiness, even when circumstances are difficult.

Reading Recommendations

Self-Directed Skills DBT Workbook by KiKi Fehling, PhD, and Elliot Weiner, PhD
The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by Alex Korb, PhD

Peace Is a Nervous System Skill

The unpredictable nature of this world often keeps people in a state of emotional overload. This can make maintaining peace—with others and within ourselves—a challenge.

We may not be able to control others, but we can take steps to support our nervous system’s capacity to withstand moments of high stress.

Getting enough movement and restorative sleep can help regulate our brain chemistry and fortify the connection between our prefrontal cortex and amygdala, making it easier to respond to stressful situations with intention instead of impulsivity.

In moments of stress, we can also use simple cues like facial tension and breathing patterns to nudge our nervous system toward a calmer state.

Life may not always be kind to us. Still, treating our mind and body with care can strengthen our ability to restore peace to our inner world in times of conflict.

Speaking of kindness—studies suggest that acts of kindness can have a positive impact on our health. I’ll explore more about the connection between this quality and wellness in my upcoming cornerstone post.

Thank you for reading. If this post resonates with you, please share it with anyone who could use a gentle reminder to take care of their nervous system.

Did you learn anything about inner peace that surprised you?

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